narcsblog

This weekend I went over to Chingford for a day out at Epping Forest

I’ve got a bad habit of taking hundreds of photos of birds.  I get far too excited by how much attitude they give off.

Even though I’m huge, towering over them, they don’t seem to mind me.

They just get on with their stuff and I move slowly usually ignoring whoever has the bad fortune to end up around birds with me.

This guy made me laugh because he was just hanging out, standing on a log under the water.  I tried to take a photo of his funny feet on the log just under the water but he was all like “Hell no are you making me look funny and stupid.  I’m going to look intense and powerful”.  I still think he looks funny though.

It was insanely quiet too.  I think it was because it was the FA cup final so no father(or mother if she’s into football) was willing to spend quality time with his family in a North London green space.  It’s not often you find yourself alone in somewhere like this on a Saturday lunchtime.  The lack of people seemed to make a massive difference in the behaviour of the birds there though.  The geese were going apeshit, honking at this solitary swan.

But he wasn’t having any of it.  He did this weird aggressive swimming stroke that kicked up the water before stalking onto the ground chasing the geese round with his wings out like a monster’s cape.  Annoyingly I missed the wings bit but He was doing this crazy fat neck move whilst he stalked a goose.

Did I mention he was HUGE?  I was creeping up on him, hiding behind a tree, when he started stalking towards me.  I had a moment of realisation that I was actually dangerously close to being that guy who ends up getting his arm broken by a swan.  Thankfully he went chasing after one of the geese, flying after him and then running onto an island in pursuit.  Imagine a honking and hissing blur of feathers running onto a small island which resembles The Blair Witch locations.  The goose was backed up by his buddies, who flew to his rescue as he was chased.  I had no idea there was a goose code.

I got some pretty poor photos of some goose sex.  It wasn’t pretty and neither are the photos.  They’re probably best left to the imagination, but there was one hell of a lot of flapping, splashing, honking and crapping.  It’s all was too aggressive and unpleasant, and the female went off and washed at great length afterwards.  But you know who wouldn’t have such unpleasant sex?  The Egyptian Goose.

This hot piece is far too cool to get hot and bothered.  He’s hard and firm (just ask the mallard’s that got in his way) but always smooth.  I can’t imagine a showering of his feathers floating past anyone.

It wasn’t just the birds feeling brave

Check out these creepy thugs that kept jumping on me from a tree.

This tree in fact.  Flanked by Nell’s bike.

That clump of trees on the left is where the swan chased the goose.  I don’t think it ended well.

This old girl wanted a backie to Clapton too

Check out her sweet decals.

Nell was drawn into all this nature stuff, and let out her inner monkey.

This is all far too natural for her.

I was worried I’d never get her out of the trees.

She seemed to be in for the long haul

I went up after her in the hope I could remind her of our civilised ground dwelling ways

but she wasn’t having any of it

She had already begun to shed the chains of civilisation

and I was beginning to feel the urge to join her in a life as a tree dweller.

We were both peckish though so hunger broke the spell, and we jumped on our bikes and headed home

and on the way back we spotted this lot…

Best.  Day.  Ever.